Bittersweet Anniversaries

Today is a strange kind of day. (Okay, around my house most days are strange, but you know what I mean.)

It is the one year anniversary of losing my beloved Mystic, only eight days after losing his sister. He was a gentle giant, my big Pooh Bear, and I still miss his weight at the end of the bed.

But it is also the anniversary of the day I brought home Harry Dresden (the cat, not the wizard...we're not going to talk about THAT day). I had already found Harry--then named Ocean, which I thought was a sign, since I love the ocean--and was just waiting to bring him home until Magic and Mystic were gone. They needed and deserved all my attention there at the end.

After I got home from the vet, it was just brutal walking into a house with only one cat in it, after having had five for so long. So I called up Harry's foster and said, "PLEASE can I come get him this afternoon?" and she was happy to let me do so. Blessings on all those who foster animals. Having him there (the other two weren't going to be able to join us for three weeks, while we were waiting for Ember to be spayed by the rescue I was getting them from) was all that got me through that first couple of really tough weeks, since Angus isn't much of a snuggler.

So thanks for coming to live with me, Harry Dresden. I'm awfully happy you did.

I looked terrible, because I'd been crying for days, but look how cute he was.

The first time I went to see him, he crawled into my coat. I guess he wanted to go home with me!

A Year Without Magic

No, the title of the post doesn't mean I didn't practice magic at all this year, although I did a lot less than usual, to be honest. Today marks the one year anniversary of the day I lost my beloved Magic the Cat, Queen of the Universe. (And then her brother, the gentle giant Mystic, eight days later on the day after their 16th birthdays.) It has been a tough year in many ways, but probably the toughest was that she wasn't here to comfort me when things were bad.

Mystic and Magic as kittens, soon after they came home with me

 I have been fortunate to have many wonderful cats in my life, but the relationship I had with Magic was unlike any I've ever had before. I doubt I'll find it again, although one can always hope.

They got bigger. Especially Mystic.

She was my nearly constant companion--sleeping by my head at night (and nap time),  and was the only true familiar I have ever had. She came to every ritual we did inside.

She looked like a completely black cat, but in the sun you could see she had darker stripes and a gray undercoat. She was so beautiful.

She also supervised my writing, sitting next to me at the computer with her head on the edge of the keyboard (or right in front of the screen, as you can see here), and sitting either next to me or behind my head on the couch when I used the laptop. I haven't written as much or as well since I lost her.

I got the kittens along with their mother Minerva, who I lost the year before, from a local shelter. I went in for one gray kitten, but Magic insisted on coming home with me (and the shelter folks begged me to take Minerva, who was terrified and sickly and completely unadoptable, but loved her kittens more than any mother cat I've ever known). She bossed me around then, and for almost another sixteen years.

The whole family

 As a kitten, she used to leap from the floor to my shoulders (especially so she could supervise me in the kitchen) and continued to do so as an adult until the last few years of her life when arthritis made it impossible.

She was as magical as her name, and I have missed her every day of the past year. The new cats, and 13 year old Angus, are great. But she left a void no other cat can fill. I expect to continue missing her (and her brother) in every day of the year to come, another year without Magic.

Miss you, baby.

 (I should add, lest this seem too sad, that I am beyond grateful that I had them at all, and that I got almost 16 years with them. It was one of the greatest gifts of my life. I can still feel her presence very strongly, mostly in bed at night, which is the only place I also sense Mystic, and sitting behind me on the couch. No doubt she is still supervising me. I'm grateful for that too.)

New Kitty Updates and a Bittersweet Anniversary

The new kitties are settling in well (you know, other than being completely crazy and destroying my house). I'm taking all three of them to my vet next week for a general look-over and to get all their info into the system. I'm curious to have weights on them (especially Koshka, who might end up getting large) and to see if my vet has an opinion about whether Koshka is a Maine Coon or a Norwegian Forest Cat.

They're mostly lovely, albeit still kitten wild. Harry often sleeps with me, sometimes Koshka does too. Ember doesn't seem to like the waterbed for some reason, and rarely stays up there for long. Koshka sometimes sits on my lap while I eat, although that means spending most of my time shoving his face away from my food. They're all very sweet.

But it's not the same.

It wasn't going to be, of course, and I knew that, but some days, like today, it is hard. Today is an anniversary that is important enough that it was written on my calendar every year: 16 years ago today, I brought home two kittens and their scared, sickly mother from the shelter. 16 years ago, my life became so much brighter because of Minerva, Mystic, and most especially Magic the Cat, Queen of the Universe, with whom I had a relationship unlike any other in my loooong history of cat-being-owned-by. I have missed Magic and Mystic every day since I lost them in January, but today was tougher than most.

They were so darned cute.

It's hard to believe they were ever that little. Especially Mystic.

But look at the size of his paws. I should have known he'd get huge.

The family together, Magic, Minerva, and look-alike son Mystic

They used to curl up together a lot. I was so glad I kept them together.

Having Ember, Koshka, and Harry Dresden is definitely helping--don't get me wrong. At least the house doesn't have that horrible empty feeling anymore and they really are adorable little cats. Even Angus doesn't seem to mind them much. But it is going to take time for me to stop mourning the old cats and get attached to the new ones.

Still, in the meanwhile, they're pretty cute too.

Koshka is trying to figure out if there are any good cat shows on

Harry's probably exhausted from all that running and romping.

Ember was running and romping with him, obviously.

All four cats on the couch. A lovely sight.

I'll let you know what the vet says after we go on Wednesday. In the meantime, I'm going to be a little sad today, but I'm sure someone cute will come cheer me up later.

Kitty Celebration of Life Giveaway

As most of you know, I lost my beloved companion Magic the Cat,Queen of the Universe, on January 3rd, one month ago today. And then her brother Mystic nine days later. I can't believe it has been a month, and I still miss them terribly. But I don't just want to focus on mourning.

Magic

Mystic

The truth is, there is much to celebrate too. I had them for almost 16 years (I got them as kittens, and it would have been 16 years this March). They were both amazing cats, loving and sweet, and Magic and I had a relationship that was deeper than I have had with most people--something truly special. She was a part of my magic and my writing career, as well as my constant companion.

And while I lost them both to cancer (2 different kinds), they both hung on longer than could have been reasonably expected, especially in  Magic's case, when we first discovered her cancer when one of the cystic tumors burst and almost killed her. Getting over two months with her after that was nothing short of miraculous, and my vet still can't explain why the tumors kept growing without bursting and killing her. I can. She was magic. (And stubborn as hell.)

I am also incredibly grateful for all of the support I got from my readers, fans, and friends during the terrible months when I was losing them, and in my grief after. Not just the financial support from the folks who signed up for my Patreon (THANK YOU!) although that was so helpful in defraying the costs of keeping them alive and comfortable for as long as I did, but also all those who sent messages of comfort and sympathy. I appreciated it more than you could know.

When my grandmother died at almost 100 (7 years ago this Valentine's Day), she didn't want a funeral. That was all about death. She wanted a Celebration of Life, where people gathered together to celebrate those 100 years.

So I'm having a Celebration of Life for my beloved kittens, and saying thank you to all of you at the same time by giving away a fun pack of goodies: cat themed dish towels, pot holder, and wine glass markers, a "Crazy Cat Lady" kit, and a copy of my latest book, A Year and a Day of Everyday Witchcraft plus a cover flat of the book, since it has a black kitty on the front. One last goody is especially close to my heart--a small glass necklace with a black kitty on it that looks just like Magic in her trademark pose.

Goodies!

glass markers

Look, it's Magic!

As usual, all you have to do to enter is fill out the Rafflecopter form. And you get credit for anything you've already done, like signing up for my newsletter. (You're going to want to do that one if you haven't yet, because there is a BIG announcement coming, and my newsletter and Patreon peeps will hear about it first!)

Thanks again for helping me grieve and now, to celebrate the lives that were so important to me. You all rock.

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Meet Harry Dresden

As you know, I lost my beloved brother and sister cats, Mystic and Magic, within nine days of each other recently. To say that I am grieving would be a huge understatement. My house, which until a few years ago, had five cats in it, only had one. Not only was poor Angus not made to be an only cat (he has always been with other cats, first at the shelter and then here, and was often curled up on the bed with his buddy Mystic), but I was pretty sure they were going to kick me out of the Crazy Cat Lady Union.

Normally, I wait a bit longer to get a new cat after losing one, but the house was SO DAMNED EMPTY. After Magic died, I had already started looking for new cats, although at the time I had planned to wait until after Mystic was gone, not realizing that would happen so soon.

I happened across a cool local rescue organization called Super Heroes in Ripped Jeans when  my friend Ellen and I were at the mall one day and they were there with a bunch of cats. These folks do spay and neuter and find foster homes for both cats and dogs until they can be adopted. They're completely made up of volunteers and funded by donations. So I thought I might look for a cat with them instead of the shelter, when it came time. After I lost Magic, I looked at their pictures of adoptable cats on Facebook and saw a little 4 1/2 month old guy named Ocean. He was black, and the ocean IS my happy place, and I had asked Magic before she died to help me find my next kitties. So I went to go visit him at his foster home.

He ran around for a while with the other kittens there, and then tried to get into the pocket of my coat where it was lying on the floor. His foster mom Kristen and I joked that he was trying to go home with  me already. I explained to her that I really wasn't sure what was happening with Mystic, and I had another couple of cats to see that my friend Nancy had found, so I couldn't promise to take him. But it looked pretty possible, since he was a very sweet boy.

Then he came over, sat on my lap, and promptly fell asleep. I know when I've been chosen.

So cute!

 Here is a picture of me with him. I look terrible, because I'd been weeping for days. But he looks cute.

When I had to put Mystic to sleep the following Friday, the house was so unbearably lonely and empty, I actually went and picked up the then-named Ocean that evening. Luckily, I had already been approved for adoption.

He has been adjusting well, all things considered. He's a bit mouthy, and has a tendency to get into trouble, but he is also sweet as can be and there is no one you would rather have by your side when you're feeling sad. So in keeping with the magical theme of the household, and in honor of one of my favorite fictional wizards, he has been named Harry Dresden.

In the office

Angus spent the first few days hissing and running away, but they are slowly getting used to each other. I think it is going to work out.

Oh, okay.

Harry Dresden turned five months old on the fifteenth, and it is um, interesting, getting used to all that wild young energy after having a house full of older cats for so long. He has two seven month old companions who will be joining him at the beginning of February from a different rescue organization (seriously-- Crazy Cat Lady Union rules!) and hopefully they'll all wear each other out.

In the meanwhile, say hello to Harry!

Mystic the Magnificent

It has been a rough week. I lost Mystic yesterday, nine days after his sister. He'd been fighting lymphoma since March and had already been going downhill. Once we lost Magic, he stopped eating almost entirely. When I brought him in on Friday, his weight was down to 9.3 lbs (from 16.8 originally--he was a BIG cat) and my vet said it was time. But it was SO hard to let him go too.

I'll be back with more cheerful news soon, I promise.

Mystic, An Update

I took Mystic back to see his vet today, a follow-up to the emergency visit last week when he had to see someone else because she was on vacation. As many of you know, my giant gray cat Mystic (not so large anymore, alas), the brother to Magic, has been going downhill for some months now. We're still not really sure what's causing the issue--x-rays haven't shown much, and blood tests show us all sorts of issues, including kidney failure, which is a new development in the last few months, and an unexplained very low red blood cell count. He lost his appetite and a lot of weight (going from 16.8 lbs to his current 12.2) and had problems pooping, but we've never really figured out why. There could be an underlying cancer we've never found, or it could simply be age, although even fifteen year old cats don't usually fall apart for no reason.

Mommy, I don't feel well.

We'd managed to stabilize him to some extent. Half a prednisone every other day got him eating again, and three other meds kept him pooping. Recently I also started giving him subq fluids at home, something I had all-too-much practice with from dealing with Samhain's six year fight against renal failure.

But then he peed outside the box three times in eight days. (Copious amounts, but not stinky, thank goodness, because he drinks so  much water.) I was pretty sure it wasn't another UTI, because that's not how he manifests them, and tests showed I was right. The vet we saw last Wednesday suggested that it was possible it was happening because he was in pain, and I thought that was likely because he'd been sitting all hunched over and also really being nasty and aggressive with Magic all of a sudden, unlike his usual periodic bullying.

So the vet tried him on a strong painkiller, which was premeasured in syringes I could just squirt into Mystic's mouth. The verdict was very clear--his behavior changed almost immediately, and he hasn't peed on the floor since, he's mostly better with his sister, and he is obviously more comfortable. This was a little bit "good news, bad news." Obviously it meant he was in increased amounts of pain, which was bad (and probably another indicator of the worsening of his condition, as was the fact that he had lost another pound after staying stable for a few months at 13.4). Plus, this medicine is usually used on a temporary basis only, usually for post-op pain relief. There are very few pain meds that can be used on cats, unfortunately, so our options were limited.

So we went back today to see his beloved regular vet to get her take on this. Luckily, she agreed with me that at this point, any possible negative issues from the painkiller were offset by the necessity to keep him comfortable and reasonably happy. (Basically, he's on kitty hospice, although there is no way to tell if he has a month or six.) He's on a half dose, which seems to be doing the trick for now. It's expensive stuff, of course, but I don't care. He may be fifteen years old, but he is still my baby, and I'm going to do whatever I can to make sure that whatever time he has left is as good as I can make it.

He is, if anything, more affectionate than ever, and I feel blessed that I have such a great vet, and good friends who are willing to care for him--bazillion meds and all--when I go out of town. He's a damned good cat.

Stretchhhhhh. I feel better!

Mystic the Cat Update

Some of you have been asking on Facebook how my cat Mystic is doing, so here is a quick update. The short answer is: Not great, but as well as can be expected. The long answer is as follows...

Basically, he's dying. Thankfully, he is--for the moment at least--doing it slowly and without a great deal of discomfort. In fact, he mostly seems pretty content.

Not feeling well is exhausting.

 He has lost a LOT of weight, though, which is never a good sign with a cat. He used to weigh over 18 lbs, back in the day, and for many years was stable at about 16.8 (after changing his food). At his checkup a couple of weeks ago, he weighed 12.7 lbs. That means he's lost about a quarter of his body weight. Not good. So a big part of the struggle these days is getting him to eat. While he still nibbles on his prescription dry food, mostly he is eating Friskies and Meow Mix wet food, which he thinks is grand. Although the cats as a whole get fed twice a day, he now gets lots of small meals in between.

If he is interested in eating, he gets food.

 He's on a number of meds, including prednisone, Miralax and a stool softener to deal with his chronic constipation, and an antacid (a liquid he hates) that he gets right before bed because his tummy gets upset when it gets too empty. The last couple of nights I've actually gotten up and fed him in the middle of the night, but I'm not sure how often that's going to happen. Yawn.

To be fair, ONE of these is Magic's Cosequin for her arthritis.

When we went to the vet in January, his blood tests showed the beginnings (just stage one, not even worth doing anything about) of kidney failure. The tests last time showed it was much more advanced, so he is now getting subq fluids at home every other day, or whenever I can get someone to come over and hold him. He may be down to 12.7 lbs, but all of it is stubborn muscle :-)

Essentially, what it comes down to is that his system is slowing down/breaking down. Some of this is the end stage of years of irritable bowel syndrome, and some of it, perhaps, is due to something we haven't found--my vet thinks it is possible that there is some sort of underlying cancer, like leukemia. To be honest, the cause doesn't matter, since all we can do is treat the symptoms and keep him as comfortable as possible.

It is, needless to say, heartbreaking to watch him go downhill. When we lost his mom last year, it was pretty drastic over the course of a couple of months. This is more of a downward slide, and as always, unless something truly drastic happens, the hard part will be figuring out when it is no longer fair to him to keep fighting. Until then, however, he is worth all the time and effort, and we will keep fighting the good fight until it isn't good anymore.

He may be 15 years old, but he is still my kitten.

Believe it or not, he wasn't more than a few months old in this picture. Look at the size of his paws!

Updates on Mystic, the Knee, and Other Stuff

So, it's April.

No, not this April. (Yes, I'm one of the people obsessively watching a pregnant giraffe. She lives in a park 45 minutes from me, for one thing. Also, this is my happy place right now. Don't judge.)

April, as in one year from the date when I twisted my knee really badly coming down the stairs and screwed it up beyond belief. (It turned out to be a bad bone contusion, which is a bunch of microfractures, plus I sprained every muscle, ligament, and tendon in the knee.) One year on, it is a lot better. I got to go back to the gym--carefully--in March, and I can actually kneel--carefully and on a soft surface. But I am not even close to "all better," which I expected to be by now. Knees. Argh. I'm still using ice and heat on it twice a day, doing PT exercises at home and going for ultrasound treatments at physical therapy, although that's about done with. Still, better this...

 Than this...

(Okay, I know they look pretty  much the same, but I haven't used the cane in ages, and if you look carefully, you can see that the knee in the second picture is about twice the size of the knee now.)

Many of you know that Mystic, the brother of Magic (and son of Minerva, who I lost March first a year ago) hasn't been doing well. As far as my vet can tell, it is a flare up of his continuing digestive issues (he has the kitty version of irritable bowel syndrome, poor boy). He's lost a lot of weight--although he's still a large cat--and doesn't have much appetite, which is unusual for him, to say the least. He's on prednisone and special food, but he clearly still doesn't feel well, and I'm spending a lot of time trying to get him to eat more. Still, he mostly acts like a healthy cat, and we haven't found anything dire (although it is always possible we're missing something), so I'm trying to stay positive.

Mystic last April

Mystic now. Yes, he's standing next to a box of tarot decks!

So mostly, we're doing the best we can and hanging in there. I'm working on Veiled Magic #3 and getting ready for Veiled Magic #2 (Veiled Menace) to come out in a little over two weeks!

And waiting for that silly giraffe to have her baby.

How are things with all of you?

Magic and Mystic Turn 15!

If you are a regular here, you have probably heard quite a lot about Magic the Cat (Queen of the Universe) and her brother, the giant gray kitty Mystic. To me, they will always be my "kittens," since I got them, along with their mom, from the shelter when they were only about ten weeks old.

So tiny and adorable! But the size of Mystic's feet should have warned me...

Who could have resisted those faces?

 And yet, somehow, today they are turning fifteen. I don't know how it happened. (After all, I'm not getting any older, right?) We lost their mom last March, so I confess that it is a little scary seeing them getting older. But mostly they're pretty healthy, aside from some arthritis in her back that makes it hard for Magic to jump up on the couch and the desk anymore. Here are the new stairs I bought to help her out, along with an ottoman by the couch. (She picked up on the ottoman right away...the stairs are taking a little longer.)

Magic enjoying the sun.

 I confess, as much as I love all my cats, Magic and I have always had a special connection. Until a few years ago, this was one of her favorite positions. Especially if I was cooking. She would leap straight up from the floor to my shoulders. Needless to say, this worked a lot better in the winter when I was wearing a lot of layers... (She also co-wrote a number of my Llewellyn books.)

When they were younger, the siblings were also quite close. (You can see mom Minerva in the background. I'm pretty sure she was saying, "You two get along now.") As they got older, that was no longer true, in part because Mystic liked to throw his considerable weight around.

Although as you can see, he is usually pretty laid back.

Don't bother me...I'm napping.

 This picture was taken last week, on a cold but sunny day. You can see they've carefully spaced themselves out with Angus in between.

Truth be told, it doesn't matter if they are fifteen or five, they will always be my babies.

So I'm going to celebrate their birthday the same way I celebrate everything else--with a giveaway! Happy birthday, babies. Mama loves you more than the moon and the stars and chocolate.

Mystic, checking out the goodies

My yearly calendar, featuring book covers and cats, plus a Magic the Cat notebook and mousepad, a cute card from one of the shop artists that I think looks like Mystic, and a little black cat.

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